Sunrise
by lafantomette
Summary: He finally stopped being a fool that morning... (Darvey story, two parts. Trying to fix s07 mess as best as I can)
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: This fic will only have two chapters. It's just that I felt this fic had two parts... I am making the last corrections and will post the second part before Wednesday, hoping you guys will enjoy this one... I spend too much time thinking how they could fix that mess on the show. Maybe I got a bit too bitchy-emo but that's what Suits did to me...LOL -Fantomette_

* * *

Deep down, he's always known it would happen one morning...

Years after years, the unsatiated need of her carved emptiness in every part of a 24 hours period.

 ** _He first began to need her during the day._**

It was easy back then: "Come work for me." Shared smiles, vanilla coffees, thumbtacks and can opener. "I can't be me without you." It wasn't a lie. He needed her to function, to get through every day. He felt lost without her.

He lost her for days and days because his love for her always was complicated. She deserves so much more, but yet, he could never let her go. He saw another woman during the day. To talk and cope with his loss. That woman made him angry at first but helped him feel better, and somehow it reminded him of HER. His Girl Friday that got away.

Later in his story, he would fool himself into thinking he could learn to love this woman who helped him but wasn't HER, if he really put his mind and heart into it.

 ** _Slowly, days slipped into nights._**

He could no longer choose and closed pretty young things who had names he could remember but won't because, after all, there's only one name always on the tip of his tongue. Not Debbie, obviously. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under (well, in his case, ON TOP) of someone else but Esther only made him feel worse about himself. About him not being able to be strong enough to be with the one he truly wanted.

It's strange how she started occupying his nights when he lost her during the days. She appeared in his dreams. At first, seeing her in his bed, sometimes with another man, sometimes waiting for him, triggered jealousy and anger. Finally, one evening, she told him she was coming back to him. He expected her to disappear from his nights once she was back working by his side every day.

But her ghost was still there inhabiting his dreams, sultry and seducing. He finally needed her differently, it lingered in the mornings when he woke up in sweats, his heart still pounding from loving her fully like they did once. The Other Time was now part of a series of dreams, a dream he never wanted to wake up from.

Reality and dreams collided: they crossed an invisible line they had traced years ago, holding hands late at night as he was contemplating the city lights through the large glass windows of his office.

 _ **She was there Days, Evenings, Nights and Mornings now. Always.**_

She said she needed more. He asked for an answer and his name wasn't on her lips. He's not worthy of her anyway, and never will be. Unless she says it, unless she specifically asks for it, but even then, he still won't feel he deserves it. But at least she would want it. All his life, he ruined everything just by existing: his parents, his brother. He spent years convincing himself she would be better off without him. He could be her everything: boss, friend, business partner, but he could never be the one who deserves her 24 hours a day.

So he tried with that woman who isn't her. The one who helped during those days he was lost because he lost her, months ago. Her name rhymes with Donna (close enough, he thought stupidly).

It crossed his mind that this is somewhat twisted: he had paid this woman to help him feel better. It was probably wrong to be in a relationship with your therapist (he could add EX-therapist but deep down he knew, this NEW thing was just another form of therapy. It was wrong but…

Less wrong than hurting the one he truly loves. She was already hurting enough. He gave her all he could give and he still saw the pain in her eyes, the tears she cried when she wanted more.

She was C.O.O. now. She probably was happy. He wanted her to be happy.

Life had taught him, his photo won't ever be printed next to the words 'happy' or' happiness' in the dictionary.

But still…

When he told her how his _mornings_ were now occupied by Paula he saw something in her eyes.

Sadness. Regrets. Other things he will never understand because that's not a language he speaks.

 ** _It happens one morning_.**

But it doesn't come as a surprise: their relationship was doomed from the start and the blonde woman had already started sending him signals: going home more often instead of spending the night, mentioning how this was wrong, snapping at him on details. Fantasies rarely match real life, especially when it's used only to mask an undeniable truth.

 _ **Sunrise often sheds some light on all the lies...**_

First, he tells the woman in his bed why he used to stay in bed until 7AM before she was there:

"The woman in my dreams was Donna...And I think we both know now what it means."

(There's no need to say he wanted his dreams not to end, after all, she's a therapist, she should know the obvious).

It's not as ugly as he imagined. She knows. She even says they met. Yes, she met Donna and then, she tells Harvey something that would change the course of his life forever:

"... there was this amazing woman sitting there in front of me, who believed so much in you and said you had no idea what you were missing… And you became more just a pretty fantasy to me. I wanted to know what she saw in you and what's to love."

He wants to thank her for telling him but his mouth is closed into a thin line. She has her coat on, ready to leave. She offers him a weak smile that feels like a 'sorry'. "The only thing I can say is that unlike what you thought, I don't know you Harvey. I tried but couldn't see what she saw in you… I realized I will never love you like she does."

It hits him like a ton of brick.

 _ **He finally stops being a fool that morning.**_


	2. Chapter 2

He is knocking hard on the door. Still no answer. He doesn't want to wait any longer. He hopes she's not with someone. Maybe she is? The thought of another man touching her makes him slightly nauseous. This is nothing new: the other men always bothered him. He just got over it because he knew he couldn't give her more.

Now he wants everything.

He knocks harder and calls her name. He finally hears the sound of bare feet walking quickly on the floor from inside the apartment. She opens the door with fear painted on her face.

"Harvey! Are you alright? Did something happened?" She eyes him and he's well aware he must look like a mess. He's still wearing pyjama pants. A white t-shirt. His hair unkempt and his face unshaven. His eyes are red because yes, he cried. He shamelessly cried in the taxi on his way over. His clothes are sticking to his body because rain was pouring and he's shivering. But nothing could have stopped him from finally doing what's right.

"Are you hurt? Tell me, are you hurt Harvey?" Her voice is shaking.

She just got out of bed, she isn't wearing much. Pink silk boxers and silk cami, showing more skin that he's gotten used to in the last twelve years. He tries not to focus on the freckles on her arms and those tracing a path to her breast… and god, she's beautiful. She's beautiful, worrying for him. FOR HIM.

He should have thought this through. He doesn't have a plan.

It just happened. He went to her because he couldn't stand to spend another morning without her.

So he tells her.

"Listen, I can't stand not waking up next to you every morning."

She stares at him in shock.

He gets closer to her, his hand brushing the space between them. "I'm in love with you."

"Don't say that," she says weakly. "We went there once…"

"And I got scared. But you were right. You are always right." He gets even closer, his torso feeling her breast under the thin silk of her top. "I want everything with you."

"Not with her?" She doesn't cry, almost seems detached.

"She's already out of the picture. It was wrong. She told me about you."

"What about me?"

"It's always been you."

He wants to kiss her, he really does but he knows she's hurt, she's angry and he deserves it. He doesn't want to mess up the most important thing he's ever done: making it work with her.

"Maybe we could go get breakfast at Nougatine?"

She shakes her head and his heart sinks. He licks his lips, and pleads almost silently. "Donna, please."

She smiles but he can see the tears in the corners of eyes. "Oh I'd like seeing you work for it. Listen to me, Mister. I won't make this easy for you. I'm not some therapist who has weird fantasies about you and to whom you can bullshit anything with a smile and a good fuck. I'm Donna." Her voice cracks and it takes him everything not to bursts into tears again. He hates being the one who broke her heart.

She is staring at him now, and it seems like she's staring into his soul, making him feel slightly dizzy from realizing he's always been such an open-book to this woman. "Harvey...I know you inside and out and I won't take any of your bullshit, ok?"

That's why he loves her. She's always made him a better man.

It takes him by surprise, this overpowering urge to stop fighting his feelings and all they have and he leans in, pressing his lips against hers. He can feel her hesitation at first but soon she hums softly and lets him full access to her mouth. His hand reaches for her neck, letting his fingertips play in her hair like this dream he had once, twice, too many times. But this is even better than anything he remembers. This is reality, this is a new beginning.

She's the one who stops the kiss, her eyes still closed and a small smile on her lips.

"Still hungry for more?" he asks cockily, his hand still behind her neck, his thumb tracing small patterns under her jaw. But for once, he knows he can talk all he wants, she knows what reality is. Reality is, he's in love with her. He's the man who just kissed the woman he should have kissed years ago and who has tears rolling on his cheeks because he can't believe how good that felt.

She opens her eyes. "Oh if you are talking about that, expect starving, I still have some healing to do and you are under an observation period. But if you are talking about food, yes, please go fetch me waffles, bananas and fresh strawberries. I'll take a shower and you can stay for breakfast. And we can talk. Expect a lot of talking."

He's never been that happy.

* * *

 _ **It happens one morning.**_

He opens his eyes and for the first time in his life he's sure the anger he carried all his life in his heart has been replaced with so much love.

He feels content.

Happy.

Maybe he should look in the dictionary: it's possible his picture is finally next to the words 'happy' or 'happiness'.

There's no emptiness, his life is full.

 _He's happy every morning, day and night._

He rolls on his side and she isn't there but the bed's still warm,, it always is nowadays, and he knows she will crawl back into bed soon.

She always does.

He smiles, remembering all the times he thought he lost her, but they always found their way back to each other.

Minutes pass, he doesn't know how many, then he feels the weight of her on the mattress when she lies back on his right side and he doesn't open his eyes right away… Every morning he feels blessed for that morning 3 years ago, where he told her he wanted to be with her. That morning he stopped wandering through life and let true love in.

He opens his eyes when he feels her tiny hand on his face.

His favorite person giggles and he pulls her closer. "Morning sunshine." He gives her a kiss on her forehead, where her pretty strawberry blonde curls fall. Behind her, he sees his wife,as perfect as ever, even with the lack of sleep from handling a career and being a supermom to a two year old toddler. He winks at her and she responds with a huge grin. She scoots closer to them until she can wrap her arm across their little girl and she grabs his hand above the sheets. He squeezes her hand.

Thankful.

Every morning he's thankful that she accepted him even with how imperfect and incredibly flawed he always was and still is…

"Daddy. Sing song!" The little girl snuggled between them is staring at him with her big brown eyes and he can't say no. In fact, that's his favorite part of the day. Their song. The song of how they became three… A reminder of how sometimes everything that seems so complicated is in fact, so simple.

 _"Skidamarink a dink a dink._

 _Skidamarink a doo._

 _I love you._

 _I love you in the morning._

 _And in the afternoon._

 _I love you in the evening._

 _And underneath the moon._

 _Skidamarink a dink a dink._

 _Skidamarink a doo._

 _I love you…"_

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 _-Author's note: It's funny how when I think I can't come up with a cheezier fic BAM! I serve you another one! LOL! But I seriously think Harvey is overcomplicating his life at this point, and even if on the show he's with "the therapist who shall not be named", all his actions so far have shown that his true love is Donna. I've always loved those lyrics from the Simply Red song Sunrise: "As I look into your eyes I see the sunrise, The light behind your face help me realize" ... " And the guy goes "It should be me, it could be me...forever!" (Fantomette starts ugly-singing). Anyway, inspiration can come from the weirdest things and songs. Like this children song at the end of the fic. This fic is over, but maybe I'll back with another one and more ideas on how to fix s07 mess but I sure do hope the show will fix it on its own SOON because I'm getting exasperated. -Fantomette_

 _(PS: you can leave comments and reviews, don't leave me here alone in my misery. LOL!_


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